Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
