so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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