Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
