some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
