It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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