i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
