I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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