well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
