So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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