Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
