Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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