if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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