I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
