he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
