doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
