That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
