Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
two words...techno handjob
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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