Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
