I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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