Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
