somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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