Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
