So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My feet surprised me
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