I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
