I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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