Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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