So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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