Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
