i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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