It's Friday. Sex?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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