No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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