I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
