Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
