Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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