Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
