So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
