doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
