Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
