she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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