yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
