I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
