You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
