well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had to cum in my sink.
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