well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
