I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
