boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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