marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
