She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
