I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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