Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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