I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
