In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
