yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
