Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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