I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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